Why parenting has become more tricky

Guiding and guarding a child in a house with three rooms is an easier task than to guide and guard a child in a house with thirteen rooms. The more rooms you add, the harder it is to have an overview, and the chance that the individuals spend their time on separate arenas rises.

The rise of digital media has created new arenas for learning, entertainment and social life. The question is no longer where the child physically is located and with whom is it together.
Modern media creates new rooms, new people and new patterns in terms of education, entertainment and social life.

Examples:
• A teenager could be safely in the home of its parents and still in a situation of risk related to posting private, exposing pictures on the Internet.
• A child can be safely on the school, receiving a threat on its mobile phone, creating fear.
• A child frequently visits friends from trusted families, watching films and playing games with extremely hard pornographic or violent content.

To become a parent of a child may be easy. To parent a child is hard work. Modern medias makes it more and more complex to parent a child, that’s why we need useful information and good tools - and that’s why media has to act responsible towards our children and co-play with us parents.

What is social life?

As I was lecturing at a conference for teachers a while ago, I met another lecturer that told me an illustrating story related to different perception of social life and friendship. As father of a teenager in secondary school, they met a Friday afternoon in order to have dinner together.

During the dinner, the father asked his son about his plans for Friday night. “I will hang out with my friends, ” the son replied. A quite normal and expected response, in the ears of the father. Dinner was over, and the boy went into his room, closing the door behind him. Afternoon became night, and as far as the father could see – the boy stayed in his room. Friday night went, and Saturday morning arrived. Then they met for a late breakfast.

The father was concerned about what he felt was his son’s lack of social life: “You told me yesterday afternoon that you were going to meet with your friends – and then you go into your room, turn off the light, and sit there all night staring into your computer?” In the mind of the father, this was no Friday night at all, just a lonely cave life.
“But I did!” his son replied. “I chatted with my friends all night long on MSN, and we played the game World of Warcraft together online. It was a very social evening, and great fun too!”.

When the father told me this story from their every day life, I realised how totally different the two generations perceived the same situation. The father: He is completely lonesome, staring into an empty screen all night, this is getting serious. The son: Very social night, very fun.

Was one of them wrong, or were they just different in their perception of friendship, social life and reality?